British "Sex" Films

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ADVENTURES OF A PLUMBER'S MATE Order

ALL LOVERS ARE STRANGERS (74) aka Escort Girls. Order

THE AMOROUS MILKMAN (74) Self-explanatory British sex comedy featuring the varied charms of Julie Ege and Diana Dors. We'll leave it to you to decide whether this one's passed its Sell By date... Order

COME PLAY WITH ME (77) Orgies and naughty fitness treatments are the order of the day as Mary Millington leads a horde of horny girls in taking over a remote health farm. Order

COMMUTER HUSBANDS (73) aka Sex Games. Derek Ford  Order

CONFESSIONS FROM A HOLIDAY CAMP  Order

CONFESSIONS FROM THE DAVID GALAXY AFFAIR (79) aka Sex Star. Sensational sex-fest that once again stars the gorgeous and infamous Mary Millington as a beautiful heiress who, despite thousands of previous lovers, is still searching for someone man enough to provide her with her first ever orgasm. Order  

CONFESSIONS OF A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR (76)  Order

CONFESSIONS OF A POP PERFORMER (75)  Order

CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER (74)  Order

COOL IT CAROL! aka The Dirtiest Girl I Ever Met.  Order

DANNY JONES (71) aka Fires of Youth. A strict Welsh handyman and his horny 17-year old son are contracted to make repairs at a posh girls boarding school, which affords the libidinous lad an opportunity to lay some pipe of his own. Trouble ensues. An entertaining obscurity with a bit more substance than the average "Ooh Matron!" Britsploitation. Stars Jane Carr, Frank Finlay, Jenny Hanley and Nigel Humphries. Complete uncut version with all nudity intact. Order

DEADLY FEMALES (76) Donovan Winter strikes again with this warped tale of trained female assassins who dispatch their prey with a personal touch: Vicky, an out of work actress, smothers her victims while reciting poetry, Mary gives all of her earnings to the Save The Children Fund and clean, quiet Joan operates in the style of a shrewish, tidy housewife. There’s probably some statement about male/female relationships in all of this but you’ll probably enjoy it for all the bloody great tits! Stars Rula Lenska, Tracy Reed and Heather Chasen. Order

DON'T BOTHER TO KNOCK (61) aka Why Bother to Knock? Bouncy bedroom farce stars Richard Todd as a philandering travel agent who passes out keys to his flat to every saucy bird he meets on holiday. Our amorous pickup artist's troubles begin when all the chickadees flock to his love nest at the same time, just as he's planning to finally settle down and marry an old flame! With Elke Sommer, Nicole Maurey, June Thorburn and Judith Anderson. Order

FOUR DIMENSIONS OF GRETA (72) aka Three Dimensions of Greta. It’s time to pull out those old fashioned red-and-green 3-D glasses out of that dusty desk drawer and have some real fun! Before he made a name for himself as the creator of horror shockers, director Pete Walker ground out frisky sex comedies, with this title being his most cheerful example. A journalist goes in search of the title character, a German au pair girl who dropped out of sight while working in London. Conducting interviews with former employers and roommates, the film segues into black-and-white 3-D sequences. SEE Greta swing naked over the heads of the audience on a trapeze! SEE Greta do her nude “interpretive dance” in a sleazy Soho strip club! SEE Greta torment Mick Jagger-lookalike Robin Askwith with fruits and vegetables! Greta eventually shows up safe and sound, but who really cares? Includes theatrical trailer. Order

THE GREAT ST. TRINIAN'S TRAIN ROBBERY  Order

IT’S NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS (74) aka Percy’s Progress. Dodgy follow up to Percy (see later listing) finds the world’s water supply contaminated by a chemical that leaves the entire male population impotent. Except for our well hung hero of course. Lots of pretty birds and celebrity cameos help to keep things interesting. Order

KEEP IT UP DOWNSTAIRS  Order

THE LOVE BOX (72) Ever wonder what really goes on behind those sexy personals ads? The Love Box lifts the lid and exposes the secret lives and lusts of the people who use them to get their kinky kicks. Horny housewives hot for lusty studs, teenage virgins in need of older women to "initiate" them and sex mad couples who fancy a bit of wife-swapping. They’re all here inside The Love Box. Order  

THE MARY MILLINGTON COLLECTION (Var.) Mary Millington was and still is Great Britain's only homegrown porn queen. Born the illegitimate daughter of a civil servant and dead at 33, her short, sexy and ultimately sad life is nonetheless the stuff of legend. Here, gathered together for the first time, are the insightful Channel 4 documentary Sex and Fame: The Mary Millington Story along with three of Mary's extremely hard to find hardcore "Continental" loops which have been transferred from 8mm: Miss Bohrloch, Betrayed and Oral Connection. For more MM check out these titles, all available in the "British 'Sex' Films" section: Come Play With Me; Confessions From the David Galaxy Affair; Eskimo Nell; Keep It Up Downstairs; Playbirds; Queen of the Blues; True Blue Confessions. Order

MARY MILLINGTON'S WORLD STRIPTEASE EXTRAVAGANZA (81) Some titles just sort of review themselves. But nonetheless, for the hard of reading: This saucy tribute (read "cash in") to the late, great Mary M. showcases a slew of slappers brandishing their naughty bits. Ooh, Matron! Order

NO SEX PLEASE, WE'RE BRITISH (73) Dated but still entertaining Carry On style sex farce about a porn shop's shipments of dirty postcards and blue movies accidentally being delivered to the local bank with hilarious consequences. Based on a popular stage play and starring Ronnie Corbett, Beryl Reid, Susan Penhaligon and Ian Ogilvy. Order

NOT TONIGHT, DARLING! (71) aka Sex in the Suburbs. No matter how often Karen (Luan Peters) lathers up her hefty hooters in front of her uptight button-down husband, she just can't seem to get his white flag raised. Rejected and lonely, she barely notices all the townsmen who constantly give her the big eye, and never gets wise to the local grocer outside her window every night doing his best peeping tom impression. And when the local grocer's supply man makes a bet that he'll have Karen's ankles behind her head in three days or less things start to really cook, eventually landing poor Karen in a stag film captured by hidden cameras. Unfortunately, Karen's husband is later persuaded into a gentleman's club by his boss, and who do you think he sees featured on the smoke-stained screen? Fireworks fill the sky in this dry British farce, featuring a nice cameo by gorgeous Harrison Marks model June Palmer making a ridiculous reducing machine look incredibly sexy! (review by Scott Wallis) Order

PAUL RAYMOND’S EROTICA  Order

THE PLAYBIRDS (78) aka The Playbird Murders; Secrets of a Playgirl. A string of centerfold models for a pervy porno mag are being stalked and strangled by a sex mad fiend. While the rag’s insatiable editor continues to "audition" for his next saucy star, a beautiful policewoman (Mary Millington) goes undie-cover in the murky world of strip clubs and vice dens in pursuit of the villain. Order

THE PURE HELL OF ST. TRINIAN'S  Order

QUEEN KONG (76) aka Queen Gorilla. Suppressed immediately upon release by Dino DeLaurentis (who didn’t get the joke) and thought by many to be a "lost" film, this goofy, low budget King Kong parody is not only not lost, it’s actually pretty damn funny! With Barbara Allen, Linda Hayden, Robin Askwith (as "Ray Fay"), Rula Lenska (as "Luce Habit") and bad puns galore. Letterboxed. Order

QUEEN OF THE BLUES (79) aka Queen of Spades. Starring Mary Millington, "the Double M with the Double Delights" this feast of fecundity is set in Soho’s sleaziest sex club and features a gaggle of gorgeous gals just gagging to get it and a group of gangsters glad to give it to ‘em! Order

SCHOOL FOR SEX  Order

SECRETS OF A DOOR TO DOOR SALESMAN (73) aka Naughty Wives. Bucketloads of nudity and humping highlight this British sexploitation gem. Our story, such as it is, concerns David Clyde, a bumbling young fisherman who inherits some money and moves to a north London bed and breakfast run by a battleaxe landlady and her five nubile, sex-crazed nieces. The lovely lasses work overtime trying to help our hero land a job (when they’re not busy trying to land him) and before you can say “Bob’s your uncle” he’s got a bit part in a blue movie directed by Jake Tripper, mad genius behind the international smash hit Werewolf Virgins (starring “Nora Titzoff”). Sadly, this career path doesn’t pan out and David winds up peddling vacuum cleaners door to door which happily for us, provides ample opportunities for more boffing and nekkidity! Order

THE SEXPLORER aka The Girl From Starship Venus. Order

SOME LIKE IT SEXY (69) aka Come Back Peter; Afternoon Delight. Donovan Winter’s super-sexed Alfie knockoff follows a callous cad named Peter (Christopher Matthews) as he drops many a bird in the target rich environment of Swinging London. This guy puts the "cock" in Cockney with his designer flat, sports car with red lips painted on the grill and a Carnaby Street wardrobe that Austin Powers would kill for. Wonderfully dated, unabashedly sexist (each of Peter’s conquests is punctuated with a symbolic shot of a butcher chopping up meat) and overflowing with nude starlets (including the Collinson twins, Madeleine and Mary, in an incestuous lesbo love fest!) this one even has a bit of footage that borders on the hardcore! Heartily recommended. Order

SUBURBAN WIVES (72) Derek Ford  Order

TIFFANY JONES (73) aka Tales of Tiffany Jones. "When the going gets tough the clothes get going!" The ample and frequently nude Anouska Hempel stars in Pete Walker’s sexy spy farce (based on the popular European comic strip) about a super secret agent who masquerades as a jet-setting London fashion model. Letterboxed. Order

TRUE BLUE CONFESSIONS (80) aka Mary Millington’s True Blue Confessions; The Naked Truth. The incredible true life story of Britain’s undisputed Queen of Sex, Mary Millington. Mary herself describes the highs and lows of her shocking porno career, with extracts from tapes made shortly before her tragic suicide. Also includes the second feature Hellcats a mud wrestling extravaganza of filthy fun to cheer your sorry ass back up. Order

WIFE SWAPPERS (69) It’s kinky, it’s erotic and it’s going on on your block. Partners in promiscuity searching for forbidden fruit. Seemingly ordinary couples who, behind closed doors, turn into rampant sexual adventurers lusting after sordid thrills, no matter what the risks! An eye-boggling peek into the lust filled world of wife-swapping clubs where swingers dare and bare all and it’s strictly "members only." Order

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