Euro Trash

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CALIGULA...THE UNTOLD STORY (82) aka Caligula II: The Forbidden Story; Caligula: The True Story; The Emperor Caligula: The Untold Story; Caligola...La Storia Mai Roccontata; Caligula...La Veritable Histoire; Caligula 3 -- La Historia Jamas Contada. Don't be fooled by that bogus "uncut" tape circulating in video stores, 'cuz it ain't. This is the COMPLETE totally UNCUT 125 minute version of Joltin' Joe D' Amato's Caligula rip off that makes Bob Guccione look like a raging prude! Gorgeous quality widescreen English language print includes: Laura Gemser helping herself to some black dildo action, bloody underwater deflowerings, baby smashing, tongue removal, a horse scene even more graphic than Emanuelle in America's, gory hackings, a wild orgy scene complete with pop shots, and the infamous screaming-guys-impaled-through-the-butt-with-iron-stakes scene! A must for your collection! Order

CALIGULA'S SLAVES (76) aka Le Schiave di Caligola. Pretty sleazy take on this well known story complete with female whipping, cage dancing, mud wrestling, women on leashes, burning Christians, big dildo love, and one of the funniest renditions of Mr. C yet: as a poor, misunderstood (read: impotent) weirdo who just wants to be loved! Letterboxed. Order

CALMOS (76) aka Cool, Calm and Collected; Femmes Fatales. Wild "war between the sexes" comedy from the director of Get Out Your Handkerchiefs. Highlights include: a sex-negative gynecologist eating tuna out of a can while his stirruped patient scratches her twat in boredom, men captured in bamboo cages and used as breeding stock by female guerrillas, and cavemen living in a giant walk-in vagina! Letterboxed French language print. Order

CANNIBALS (80) aka White Cannibal Queen; Sexo Canibal; Mondo Cannibale; Mondo Cannibale 3: Die Blonde Gttin. Ten years after losing both his daughter AND his arm to hungry mud people a not so intrepid explorer returns to the jungle only to discover that the fruit of his loins is now the tribe’s pagan goddess and communal fuck bunny. An important lesson in parental supervision from Jess Franco, who puts in a brief appearance as a shady businessman (another case of art imitating life) as well as giving us lots and lots and LOTS of flesh munching close-ups. Order

CAPER OF THE GOLDEN BULLS Order

CASTLE OF THE BANNED LOVERS (56) aka Beatrice Cenci; Les Chateau des Amants Maudits. Rare Riccardo Freda Franco/Italian co-production based on the famous opera. Letterboxed French language print. Order

COLLECTIONS PRIVEE (79) A trio of erotic short films from three masters of the muff: Walerian Borowczyk, Just Jaeckin and the late Shuji Terayama. With Laura Gemser, Roland Blanche, Juzo Itami and Keiko Niitaka. French language print. Order

COLPO ROVENTE (69) aka Who Killed Mac Brown?; Kuka Surmasi Mac Brownin. Trippy, acid-tinged noir thriller about a NYC detective on the trail of a drug kingpin’s killer (played by avante garde director Carmelo Bene!). Lots of sleazy Big Apple "atmosphere" from back in the day, plus a great score by Pieo Piccioni that ranges from explosive jazz infused beats to groovy Hammond organ based drug party themes! Directed by Piero Zuffi, starring Michael Reardon and Barbara Bouchet. Italian language print. (review by Greg Goodsell) Order

COMMON WEALTH (00) aka La Comunidad. Brilliant black comedy thriller from Spanish maestro Alex de la Iglesia. Carmen Maura stars as a 40-something real estate agent who finds a fortune hidden in a Madrid apartment. Unfortunately her discovery interferes with the plans of the building’s other tenants and madcap murder and mayhem ensue. Letterboxed and subtitled. Order

CONCERTO FOR A RAT (95) aka Concert for a Rat; Concert Dlia Crisi; Kontsert Dlya Krysy. Russian iconoclast Oleg Kovalov’s absurdist indictment of totalitarianism mixes live action, cartoons and archival footage from pre-Perestroika Russia and the Third Reich to tell the story of eccentric St. Petersburg poet Daniil Kharms. Kharms was a misunderstood Futurist who wanted to fashion his life into a work of art but instead was tossed into the gulag for distracting his comrades from their industrial duties and the Proletarian ideal. Direcor Kovalov (best known in the West for his documentary Sergei Eisenstein: Autobiography) uses a playful touch and striking, sometimes bizarre set pieces to tell his tale. In the process he leaves the viewer with many exquisite images (like an enigmatic, stockinged woman dressed in a man’s hat, suit coat and glasses astride a stylized camera dolly) to add to his or her mental scrapbook. English subtitled print. Order

CONFESSIONS OF A RIDING MISTRESS (73) aka Love on a Horse; To Koritsi ke to Alogo. Oddball artist spies his son and his new trophy wife making the sign of the double backed armadillo and decides to immortalize the deed by painting a portrait of the couple astride wifey's trusty white stallion. This not surprisingly leads the semi-incestuous duo to wonder if maybe Pops knows that something is, uh, "up" and tragedy ensues. Steamy Greek potboiler (dubbed in English) displays the ample charms of earthy Anna Fonsou to good effect. Order

CREAM PUFFS (81) aka Cream Horn; Custard Croissants; Cornetti all Crema. Scrumptious Edwige Fenech and her knockout bod are the main attractions in this screwball Italian sex comedy from genre stalwart Sergio Martino. Lots of wacky shenanigans, Catholic humor and broad slapstick, plus hookers dressed as nuns and of course, who could forget, Edwige’s fabulous ta-tas. Letterboxed print dubbed in English with Greek subtitles. Order

CREATURES THE WORLD FORGOT (70) "See primitive chieftains duel in naked fury!" "See the young lovers sacrificed!" "See staked girl menaced by giant python!" Hammer Studios final foray into the prehistoric world (following One Million Years B.C. and When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth) stars former Miss Norway Julie Ege as the scantily clad cavegirl who makes all the Homos Erectus and all the cavemen go "Oogh!" Order

THE CREMATOR (68) aka Spalovac mrtvol. The Czechoslovakian horror classic is finally available! Rudolf Hrusínský plays the Peter Lorre-like title character who runs a crematorium in a small Czech village in the beginning days of World War II. He’s lecherous, money-grubbing and yet oddly suave with a hypnotic, venom-mixed-with-honey voice. He takes his work just a little bit too seriously, saying his clients suffer through life and that he releases their troubled souls “into the ether.” Members of the local Nazi party curry his services, and he eventually goes off the deep end, and slaughters his family in cold blood before the Third Reich recruits him to ply his specialty on an even grander scale. All the while, a beautiful Angel of Death hovers about the sidelines, smiling and waiting …. Expressionistic black-and-white photography, editing and a music score that recalls the wailing souls of the damned add up to a bone-chilling experience. Highly recommended! In Czech with English subtitles.. Order

THE CRIMINAL LIFE OF ARCHIBALDO DE LA CRUZ aka La Vie Criminelle D’ Archibald de la Cruz. Luis Bunuel Subtitled Order

THE CRY OF THE FLESH (61) aka Sin on the Beach; Heisser Strand; La Cri de la Chair; L’eternite Pour Nous. Early sun, sand and sin outing from French cult director Jose Bnazraf. If you can get past the fact that number one it’s in black and white (and by the way, here at SV we have the same high regard for people who won’t watch movies that are in black and white simply because they’re in black and white as we do for people who won’t read books that "don’t have any pitchyers") and number two that it’s in French with no subtitles, you’ll find yourself enjoying a very stylish little piece of Euro trash. Plus, it’s the only way you’ll be able to treat yourself to the sight of this amazing bombshell of a babe doing an impromptu dance number that will haunt your fevered dreams for years to come. Order

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